June 24, 2009

Sex and the City (The Movie)

Directed by: Michael Patrick King (Will & Grace, Sex and the City (the series))
Written by: Michael Patrick King, Candace Bushnell (Lipstick Jungle, Sex and the City)

Foot Face
Emmy from Mannequin
Absolut Hunk (humminah humminah humminah)
Chick from American Idol
Gay Best Friend #1
Gay Best Friend #2
Ginger Kid With No Soul

Ok so I'm sure we all know the whole Sex and the City story, the movie is a like a big giant episode.

We're re-introduced to Foot Face in the beginning, who's still with Mr.Big, still living in New York, and has written three more books.
Charlotte is still married to lovely Baldy and they have adopted Asian Baby.
Lesbian is still living in Brooklyn where we left her, with Steve and Ginger Kid With No Soul.
Emmy from Mannequin has moved to LA where she lives with and manages the Absolut Hunk.

Cut to Foot Face and Mr.Big apartment hunting together, they find a fabulous penthouse apartment, Foot Face moans about lack of closet space, Mr.Big offers to buy apartment for them both - LUCKY BITCH.

The four girls all meet up to go to an auction of fancy things that this chick that was dumped once owned. Emmy from Mannequin sees an amazing ring that she wants, she loses in the bidding war with anonymous bidder. The girls are worried about Foot Face not really owning the new apartment and not having legal rights cause Mr.Big is just her "manfriend".

Foot Face tells Mr.Big that the girls are worried, they decide to get married he offers to buy her a ring, she says she wants a big closet instead - STUPID COW.
Foot Face tells all the girls about the whole marriage thing, Emmy from Mannequin is not to happy.

In Emmy from Mannequin's office in LA she has an Absolut Hunk wall - note to self - find someone who can do that on bedroom wall.

Foot Face finds her wedding dress, it's a vintage suit, it's really cute actually.

Foot Face gets the chance to do a photo shoot for Vogue magazine, in lots of pretty wedding dresses, especially a fab Vivienne Westwood dress, which later on she sends to Foot Face. Despite the fabulous dress she still looks rather horse like.

Some more soppy stuff happens. Foot Face decides she wants the wedding in a big giant library place.

Back to Lesbian who snaps at Steve in a restaurant, they go home and have sex, she tells him to like hurry up, he gets pissed off. She tells all the girls, they discuss it, Lesbian kinda feels bad.

Foot Face heads over to Mr.Big's apartment and they start going at it on the balcony - LUCKY COW.

In LA the Absolut Hunk gives Emmy from Mannequin the ring from the auction (yes, yes he was the anonymous bidder) she gets frisky, he just wants to go to bed (it's only cause he had done seriously bad and naughty things to me earlier that day).

Back in the new penthouse Foot Face get her fabulous closet and leaves seriously sexual shoes there.

All the girls help Foot Face move out of her apartment, this is a nice chicky flicky bit in the movie.

Steve tells Lesbian that he cheated on her, she is really pissed off. She tells the girls she's leaving, they like Steve so the ask her if there is any way she could forgive him.

Foot Face continues making these big huge wedding plans, Mr.Big gets a bit pissed off cause he's been married twice before and feels like she's making the whole thing into a circus. He just wants her and not a big show. They kiss and make up....blah blah blah.

Cut to the big rehearsal dinner, everything is going great, until Steve shows up. He asks Lesbian to forgive him she gets pissed off and tells Mr.Big that he's crazy to get married and that marriage ruins everything. He starts freaking out.

The Girls are at Charlotte's house, its the night before the wedding. Mr.Big calls Foot Face and says he's having trouble writing his vows Foot Face calms in down, everything seems to be going well......


Duh duh duuuhhhhh!

The Wedding Day!
Everybody is all dressed up, and once again despite, having her hair done, fab dress on and make-up done, Foot Face still looks rather horsish.
They all arrive at the library, Mr.Big is late, he had showed up and freaked out then left. He calls Foot Face and tells her he can't go through with it. The whole shabang is called off Foot Face and the rest of the bunch all leave, then as they are driving away, Mr.Big realises he fucked up and tries to get back to the library but runs into Foot Face along the way and she bates the shite outta him with her flowers.

Cue sobbing like a baby.

They all head back to Charlotte's place, Foot Face drowns her sorrows in some yummy vodka. Lesbian tells Charlotte what she said to Mr.Big at the rehearsal dinner, she tells her not to tell Foot Face and that it probably wasn't the reason he freaked out and left.

They all decide to head to Mexico on what would've been the honeymoon. Foot Face sleeps for days wallowing in self pity.
Charlotte only wants to eat chocolate pudding cause it was made in America and she fears the Mexican food.
Foot Face wonders if she'll ever laugh or be happy again, Emmy from Mannequin wonders how she let her life revolve around a man.
Funniest bit in the film, Charlotte "poughkipsied" her pants, must be from all the chocolate pudding.

Cue a lot of laughter.

Then Foot Face moves back into her apartment, and hires Chick from American Idol to help her out. Charlotte finds out she's pregnant, with Non-Asian Child and Emmy from Mannequin tells the Absolut Hunk that she feels disconnected from him, her new job and her new life in LA. Boo hoo hoo cry me a river.

Cut to New Year's Eve. Steve comes to pick up Ginger Kid with no soul from Lesbian, is it just me or does he sometimes look "special"?? Charlotte is playing happy families with Baldy, Asian Baby and Bun In The Oven. Lesbian feels all alone and calls Foot Face, who comes over and they got all sappy, cue tears...some not a lot.

At this point I think everybody is thinking where the happily ever after and whens it gonna get here?? I'll get to it as quick as possible.

Blah blah blah.

Valentines Day. Lesbian tells Foot Face about what she said to Mr.Big at the rehearsal dinner, Foot Face freaks out a bit and tells Lesbian that she thinks she's stupid for not forgiving Steve.

Blah blah more soppy stuff.

Lesbian and Steve go to counselling and like talk things out then the counsellor chick tells them not to talk for ages and then if they are both ready and willing to forgive and forget that they meet on a bridge and everything will be all better than. So then Lesbian does some thinking and decides to go to the bridge, and for like a sec we think Steve hasn't shown up but then we see him and they kiss and make up.

Cue uncontrollable sobbing and snotting all over everything.

Blah blah more stuff happens.

At some point here Emmy from Mannequin breaks up with the Absolut Hunk - COMPLETE AND UTTER DUMBASS.

Then Charlotte sees Mr.Big and she like totally goes into labour, and he brings her to the hospital and waits until she has Non-Asian Baby. Then Foot Face shows up and Baldy tells her that Mr.Big wrote to her loads and she's all "Nuh uh!" then she goes home and finds all these lovely emails from him, cue some more tears.

Then she goes back to the Penthouse apartment to get the seriously sexual shoes that she left there, and Mr.Big is there and she runs to him and they kiss and make-up. Then he proposes to her and uses the shoes instead of a ring (sweetest thing ever, he was probably being economical in these recessionary times).

Then it cuts to them getting married in City Hall, it's just him and her the way it always should have been, and he's all lovely to her, cue some more tears...again some, not a lot.

That's more or less the end of the movie, pretty good ending I say.
Everybody lives happily ever after.

Verdict: Pretty good movie, like the kind you could watch a few times. It'd be good to watch with the girlies, during a topless slumber party* or even by yourself with a pint of ice-cream and a bottle of vodka, you know just an average night in.
I look forward to the next one, I may have to eventually let the Absolut Hunk out of my basement.

*one does not have to participate in a topless slumber party, unless they want too. I only say this so that any male readers of this post will not have there dreams shattered when they find out that all we really do at slumber parties is wear baggy clothes, pig out on bad food and bitch about them. No naked pillow fights.

Mmmmovie Munchies: baguette pizzas

Let's face it, darlings, there’s no finer late night movie snackage than a takeaway pizza, but ordering in is an expensive business. Never fear, it’s almost as easy to knock up a few of these little beauties as it is to pick up the phone and part with your hard earned cash, so next time you go shopping, throw a couple of extra bits in the trolley and movie munchies fit for a king can be yours. You’ll need:

1 french stick (or a couple of part-baked baguettes, baked according to pack instructions)
1 clove garlic
Leftover tomato sauce (or a jar of tomato pasta sauce)
1 ball of mozzarella, grated
About 100g cheddar, grated
Couple of slices ham or bacon, chopped
1 chilli
Some thyme or basil

So first, cut your baguettes into two or three pieces and halve each piece. Stick them under the grill for a couple of minutes until they just start to get a little brown and crisp. Next, cut your clove of garlic in half and rub all over the cut surface of the bread (you need asbestos fingers for this bit, but it’s well worth it).

Now spoon a bit of tomato sauce onto each slice, spread it about and top with a little of each cheese:
...then basically throw on any other toppings you fancy (I used slices of ham, some chopped chilli and some herbs out of the garden, but use whatever you have leftover in the fridge).

Bung them under the grill for a couple of minutes until golden and bubbling, and devour in front of the telly whilst congratulating yourself on your resourcefulness.